Love her? Hate her? However you feel about Paulina Porizkova, there is no denying she has sparked a nerve by baring her grief and depression, wrinkles and buttocks at age 56.

My first memory of Paulina was of a luscious teenager who graced the cover of Sports Illustrated in 1984. She was 18 then, from the Czech Republic. She would be back on the cover of Sports Illustrated the next year, which was considered quite a feat.

I never heard much from her afterwards as I was too busy living my own life. Fast forward to 2008 where she became one of the judges in Tyra Banks’ America’s Next Top Model, still as beautiful as ever.

A couple of months into the pandemic, I found her on Instagram. I got hooked on her feed immediately. Here was a woman who was grieving for her husband, who by the way left her out of his will, forcing her to leave the home they shared, while coming to terms with the changes brought on by the years. It was fascinating to watch her find her voice.

Here, some of her unfiltered thoughts, which almost always invited a tornado of agreements and disagreements.

ON BEING DISMISSED BECAUSE OF HER AGE

“I love getting older. I’m so much more of a woman now than I’ve ever been. If I was in somewhat easier circumstances and not still jagged and raw and unsure of my purpose ahead, this would be my favorite age. A moment of perfect grace when my outside and inside agree on who they are. No, my posts about aging is all about looks. If you find this superficial and silly, good for you, you have no such concerns, unfollow me and be well. But if you, like me, have been conditioned from childhood that ‘pretty’ in a woman is the most desirable attribute, and now, although you know you’re great, you’re being dismissed because of your age, well, then know you’re not alone.”

ON BEING CALLED “STILL” BEAUTIFUL VERSUS BEAUTIFUL

“Can we talk about “still?” “You are STILL beautiful” “You STILL look great” “I would STILL date you” are meant as compliments. How many times have you been told you’re STILL smart as a compliment? Sure, being pretty is considered fleeting, unlike smart. But why is it considered fleeting when it’s merely “different?” Because of time, change in life is unavoidable, and as much good as it’s bad. So why is it so feared? We appreciate the various ages of objects. Antiques and vintage are as sought after – and often even more valuable than the brand new. Why can’t we look at the wrinkles and the softness that comes with age as another kind of beautiful? Instead of being “still beautiful“ because we remain the same, we could be “beautiful” because we change.”

ON THE AGING WOMAN’S BODY

“When I was in my twenties and thirties, the less I wore, the more popular I was. In my forties, I could walk around practically naked and illicit nothing more than a ticket for public indecency. At fifty, I am reviled for it. “Put on your clothes, grandma. Hungry for attention, are you? A little desperate here? You’re pathetic.” Why is sexiness and nudity applauded in a woman’s youth and reviled in her maturity? Because of men. Men are biologically programmed to spread their seed, inserting themselves into fertile containers which advertise their viability through youth. What does this say for men who do not want children? Men who have all the kids they wanted? Men who don’t want kids right this second? Unevolved. And what does this say for women like myself, who need to be validated by the male gaze? Insecure. The only thing that is pathetic here is allowing others to set your priorities.”

Love her? Hate her? It is all up to you.

But we are all fortunate that there is a Paulina who has stood up and said: “This is how grieving looks like.” “This is what getting older looks like.” “This is what a fifty-something body looks like.” And to all these, we should stand proud.

Younger Paulina photos from Sports Illustrated

Paulina now from her Instagram feed