I confess. I didn’t know anything about the EDSA Bus Carousel before my inexplicable urge to try riding it.

Because I went to college up north, I grew up traversing EDSA. On Mondays, Dad would speed through the highway from Makati, managing to get me to Katipunan in less than an hour. When I started working, I learned never to get on the CROSSING IBABAW bus or I’ll waste more than 15 minutes at the EDSA-Shaw intersection. But enough of the trip down memory lane, on to the EDSA Bus Carousel!

I started my journey at One Ayala, where one of the attendants told me to take the overpass towards the northbound side of EDSA. At the station, I was met by a long line of passengers which snaked around in front of the TELUS building. Northbound buses, four or five at a time, would stop by the station every few minutes or so, and a lady barker with a fanny pack would direct the passengers to get on the bus, counting each, and then stopping the line once her count was done. It was amazing to see her work. I don’t know how she managed to fill up each of the buses with just the right number of passengers.

Me, with my mask on, probably looking like I didn’t know where I was going, which in point of fact was right, dared to ask this formidable lady barker where I should go if I wanted to go to Megamall. Yes, I wanted to go to Megamall not having visited this gargantuan complex in ages. She told me to get to the end of the line.

“Papunta pong Megamall?”

“Pila ka don, sa dulo!”

And so I fell in line, and while the line seemed endless, it was at least moving. In less than 10 minutes, I was almost to the top of the line, and again, not knowing which bus I was supposed to take, asked the lady passenger in front of me:

“Ate, saan po papuntang Megamall?”

“Kahit alin dyan.”

“Kahit alin dyan?”

“Kahit alin dyan.”

So I got on the first bus in line—I’d forgotten what the sign said—and just told the conductor where I wanted to go. We were moving slowly, and I wondered where this supposedly fast lane was supposed to be. It was only after we reached Buendia that we speeded along. While a gazillion cars were stuck in traffic, I was on the EDSA Carousel speeding to Megamall. Only there wasn’t a Megamall stop! I saw us whizzing past Megamall, and wondered where I was supposed to get off.

When we reached Ortigas station, the conductor told me that it’s time to get off. The bus doors opened, and I realized that he was telling me to get off… in the middle of the highway… LITERALLY!

“Kuya, dito ko bababa?”

“Opo.”

“Dito?!”

“Opo.”

I must have looked like a frazzled, befuddled fool because I was! Frazzled! Befuddled! And a fool! Mwahahaha!

I get off in the middle of the highway, and quickly looked at the left side of the bus where a station was supposed to be, only there was no station. There was only a concrete island, and surely I would get crushed by a bus should I decide to walk there. I started walking down the middle of the highway, all the while thinking of the tabloid headline should I meet an undesirable fate: BABAE NASAGASAAN SA GITNA NG EDSA.

Fortunately for me, there was another lady from another bus who got off and who seemed to know where she was going. I ran to follow her, thanking my lucky stars for this angel in the middle of EDSA.

Finally, I reached the station, and was welcomed by the uneven steps and the cordoned to death walkways of Ortigas station.

Did I get to Megamall? That’s a story for another day.