It’s waking up in the morning, knowing you’re responsible only for yourself. No need to hurry, no need to worry. If you’re late for an appointment, that’s on you. You can’t make prepping the kids for school or soothing clingy toddlers as an excuse.

It’s not having to think, once again, about what to make for dinner. Menu planning is a joy, most especially when food is your love language. But when you’ve been doing it for the past two or three decades, it can be quite tedious.  

It’s doing the groceries with a renewed sense of wonder. When you’re shopping for a family, going to the supermarket is a chore. It’s finding the time to fill up the cart with what everybody else needs. When you’re shopping for yourself, you look at the grocery shelves with seemingly a new pair of eyes. What stuff do I want to try? What can I cook with these lovely mushrooms?

It’s recognizing, work schedule and budget permitting, that you can go on mini-vacations should you have the time and inclination—except who’s going to water the plants?

It’s realizing, all too suddenly, that you’ve somewhat lost your sense of identity. Not only did I build my career on mommy-hood, I was neck-deep in motherhood for most of my adult life. I will forever be a mother and worrying about my grown children and looking out for them will always be a part of my psyche. But now I have this opportunity to reinvent myself somewhat, and it scares the hell out of me.

It’s choosing to savor and enjoy this time of my life without the mom guilt. When I found myself with all this time on my hands, I initially felt guilty. For as long as I can remember, I had been busy, busy, busy. Faced with the concept of free time, I was dumbfounded. Was I missing something on my to-do list? Was there nothing else that I was supposed to do? Can I really take a nap in the afternoons? It took some time to get used to the idea of caring for me.

It’s understanding that while I may have all the time in the world, I don’t have all the time in the world. I could choose to sleep all day—and actually did. It was like making up for all the time I didn’t get to sleep! But after I’ve had my fill of rest, there is this recognition that my spot in this world is a blessing, and it would be a waste if I didn’t make it the least bit sweeter, in a manner that’s solely my own.