It was perhaps one of the most exuberant celebrations of midlife that I have ever been invited to. Most 40th birthday celebrations are feasts of fancy, with themes and costumes, entertainment numbers, and video messages from the celebrant’s loved ones near and far.  There were none of these at Ichel Alignay’s coffee and chikahan milestone birthday fete.

Ichel is a psychologist, counselor, teacher, and author. Forty days before her 40th birthday, she started doing her daily #GratefulandPurposefulat40 posts. She talked about everything that brought meaning to her 40 years of life on earth, from hobbies and crushes, movies and young adult novels, to her work, her children, and her husband. It was great to see a grown woman reflect on stuff that bugged, bothered, and breathed life into her. When I turned 40, I booked a suite at a hotel, brought along my kids, invited my friends, and got all silly drunk! But that’s me! Mwahahahaha!

Before we go into her coffee and chika fete, I’d like to share with you some of my favorite posts from her #GratefulandPurposefulat40 reflections.

On Day 8, she talked about a local movie titled, “Bala at Lipstick.”

She wrote: “That title of an old Roderick Paulate movie still rings a bell until now, along with his line, ‘Meron akong lipstick, isang box! Galing Japan!’ Oh why be grateful for bala at lipstick?”

She goes on to say that though she loves lipstick, eyebrow pencils, and BB creams, nobody can rely on face value alone to get through life.

A person is so much more than his exterior. It is his interior self which gives real meaning and beauty to life. It is through the difficulties of life, those veritable bullets if you will, that  a person is honed and motivated to be his very best self.

She exclaimed, “I am pursuing my life purpose with a bit of lipstick and a lot of stashed life bullets!”

Another post which made a mark on me was the one she wrote for Day 33, on blessings. Ichel has had her share of pain. While some choose to baby their pain, holding on to it for as long as they can, she chose to see the purpose behind the pain.

She wrote, “For the past years in my career, family, and marriage, life was not that easy. If you know me, I do not rant nor post about my struggles. Believe me, it was not easy juggling family life, raising young kids, career, studies, ministry, and all… I choose to look at the blessings, the message, and the purpose amidst it all! I mindfully follow God’s lead through his hands in my life circumstances. There is a calm after each storm, a rainbow after the rain, and blessing in the burden.”

Finally, on Day 36, she shared her midlife experience.

“Midlife isn’t about the good or bad, but a tug between two opposing poles: Should I work more or should I stay home? Should I take this or go to another career? Should I do what they are doing or stick to my own thing?”

“Midlife is an inward journey.”

“Midlife is not about crisis. It’s really about Christ-IS. I learned how He works in me, not when things are happening, but when nothing is happening. I know how Jesus is up to something when I’m down to nothing. I feel his hand in many of the big blessings and more on the little hidden blessings!”

It was inspiring to see how much of herself Ichel shared. So when she brought up the idea of having a coffee and chika session on her birthday,  I encouraged her to go for it! Even if only the two of us showed up for coffee, we’d have a great time, too! Mwahahaha

She invited a random list of her friends on Facebook. And lo and behold, a lot of us showed up at this picturesque cafe up North, in Taytay, a few weeks later.

Ichel did provide the chika, enlightening everybody about the midlife experience. She even encouraged us to write our takeaways for the day. The rest of the morning we spent chatting. As you know, whenever women get together we almost always overshare! Mwahahaha

 

 

Of course, I am way beyond midlife. At one point, I was sweating like crazy, as in super cray! The AC was down, so your pre-menopausal Lula got hot, hot, hot! Mercifully, Ichel asked someone to point the fan towards me. I could have fainted, but I fortunately didn’t. Instead I just laughed and chalked it off to experience. Because really, what can you do?!

After the festivities, I found myself musing under the trees, grateful to have had such a lovely morning. I was still a bit sweaty but more than happy to realize that yes, there is always a blessing under every burden. Cheers!